Touchblue

I must warn you: What you are about to see is graphic and disturbing.

For some time I have felt an ominous energy building up from deep in the core of this planet. As if to forebode an imminent evil, this energy has surfaced some of my darkest fears. It has invaded my mind with the shrieks of women and children in panic. Overcome by an obsession to find out what exactly has caused this “disturbance in the force”, I have scoured the web for 96 hours straight, and have come across video footage of the most fearsome monster to ever roam God’s green Earth…






The Centipede!!

*This man died shortly after this photograph was taken.

Sometimes referred to by its scientific name, Maraming Feete, this creature inhabits major metropolitan cities and feeds on a healthy diet of bears and dragons. With titanium-laced fangs, the centipede can pierce through bones with a force of up to 1-skillion pounds-per-square inch. It’s reinforced carapace can withstand direct contact with the surface of the sun. It is a Pulitzer Prize winning author.

I challenge you to find a more destructive beast. I’ve tried, only to conclude that the centipede is indeed, the devil-incarnate. Here are some of his early challengers:














Mouse.

Nice try, but the centipede quite literally eats mice for breakfast… as well as for merienda, between his meals of dragons and bears.




















Bat.

You are a flying mouse.




















Tarantula.

About 92 legs shy of true power, my friend.




















UFC Light Heavyweight Champion, Chuck Liddell.

PWNED!




















In my estimation, there is only one formidable challenger to the unholy centipede. The fate of this planet rests on the shoulders of the only being ever known to have defeated it in battle.




















Takeru Kobayashi.

Thank you for reading. Let’s all do what we can by recycling and joining the movement toward more renewable energy and less greenhouse gas emissions.

--> This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 30th, 2007 at 5:51 pm and is filed under Bloggish, In the News, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.