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In an attempt to reconnect with my inner-child, I did what I had been longing to do since I was 10… I bought a skateboard.

With this skateboard, I had been granted the license to be naïve and irresponsible with no inhibitions and no regard for health or safety. The only protection I wore was my health insurance card-shield in my back pocket.

Upon purchase, my buddies and I headed to the local skatepark. There we found Toad-Sprout looking daredevils in their baggy pants and sticker-draped helmets. Clearly the best way to eliminate any initial fear would be to go down the steepest drop, which was into the skate bowl. I peered into the emptiness of the bowl like a New Year’s resolutioner handed an assorted box of Krispy Kremes, plagued by decisions. I had 3:

1. Envision Skate or Die 2, inherit tricks through meditation; instantaneously apply

2. Encourage one of my friends to be the cool one

3. Be a hero

1 and 2 did not work.

I perched my leg on that skateboard as any hero would do in conquest of enemy territory. I looked down once. #1 rule when afraid of heights, don’t look down. I looked down a second time. I had to, right? I had to see where I was going so I could plan which THP8 maneuvers to showcase. I positioned my board at the lip of the launch point, front wheels hanging over. All internal enemies have silenced as the wheels scream in a reign of terror, seemingly spinning in reverse trying to get back on the ledge.

A 7-year old girl on a Razor scooter scoots beside me, nearly kicking dust onto my cornea, tightens her fingerless gloves and with one finger, lowers her lokes down the bridge of her nose, “Aren’t you guys too old to be skating here?”

“Aren’t you too young to be talking to strangers, you little bad-ass?” I took off.

I didn’t commit.

Consequently, not the Marty Mcfly hover experience I was seeking.

3 feet at 85 degrees later, my posterior is on the ground. In a desperate attempt to avoid mortification, I scurry to grab my board before it rolls too far. Dexterity continues to betray me, the four wheels coast along the frictionless surface, and the lightweight piece of wood has traveled yards in a matter of seconds. I walked across the bowl in dismay, retrieved my board and walked it over to the incline where I entered. Rather than riding out Bon Jovi style in a blaze of glory, I placed my board on the ledge, followed by my hands and I pulled myself up out of the bowl. My shattered ego not far behind.

What happened? I leaned back. Leaning back throws off ones center of gravity when going against centripetal force, thus one’s momentum works against him. p = m v. This is why 7-year old girls and boys are so good at extreme sports, their m is very low.

What was the meaning of this experience? After hitting that cold pavement, I later realized why I was summoned to this skateboard.

Again 3 things:

1. To rediscover the laws of physics which will aid in my attempt at flight

2, To complete my pledge of fighting crime, carrying a nunte, incognito, and something with the color yellow

3. To rejuvenate my appreciation for shoes…

--> This entry was posted on Monday, January 29th, 2007 at 8:00 am and is filed under Bloggish, Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.